Got any exciting plans for this coming Thursday? Perhaps you've got front row tickets for a Black Eyed Peas concert. Maybe you're meeting your biological father for the first time in your life, a result of him faking his death to escape a hefty mob debt while you were a toddler. Perhaps you've enrolled in Afro-Cuban disco step funk classes at your local community college. Maybe you simply plan on tending to your piñata garden, reclining in the swaying shade of the monkeynut trees. All those sound great -- which is why it gives us a heavy heart to inform you that none of those things, not your estranged progenitor, your community college, your precious piñatas, or Will.i.am, will exist on Thursday.

The Large Hadron Collider, a sixteen-mile long, seven story tall ring of death which straddles the border of Germany and Switzerland, will see to that. We're not exactly sure what it does, but we are fairly certain of a few things -- for instance, we know that despite its colossal size, it runs almost entirely on car batteries and hubris. We also know that it's the world's biggest particle collider, and that trying to shoot one particle into another from miles away is pretty difficult. Oh, also, we know that during its inaugural run this Wednesday, it's going to create a sustainable black hole that's going to devour mankind, the Milky Way galaxy, and Will.i.am.

Sure, the eight-thousand physicists that have worked on the project have assured mankind that the odds of that last event occuring are approximately one-in-a-thrillion -- but of course they would say that. We know the truth, and have already begun selling our automobiles, gaming systems, and houses to afford a sturdy craft that will carry us far from the gravity well's sinister reach. Unfortunately, we're pretty certain we bought a 1974 Gremlin wrapped in duct tape with a jumbo-size roman candle tucked into the tailpipe. We'll let you know how it works out for us.

- DS Lite: 56,439 444 (0.79%)
- PSP: 41,664 5,940 (12.48%)
- Wii: 35,755 582 (1.65%)
- PS3: 9,775 755 (8.37%)
- PS2: 8,810 390 (4.63%)
- Xbox 360: 3,124 427 (12.02%)

[Source: Media Create]

See: The Black Eyed archives

Here in the States, Qore subscribers will be able to fling mud across the startled faces of both friends and enemies alike in the Motorstorm: Pacific Rift demo which is due out this week for those who purchased the fourth installment of Sony's online gaming mag. Unfortunately, Qore number four isn't available on the PSN in other territories -- however, a recent news brief from unofficial PlayStation blog Three Speech hints that Europeans will receive the demo soon -- albeit in a fairly unconventional manner.

Three Speech reports that random European PS3 owners will be receiving vouchers this coming Thursday via email which will allow them to download the Pacific Rift demo on PSN. We're not entirely sure why Sony decided upon this "Golden Ticket" approach for the demo's release -- sure, the hype built from all the exclusivity will likely pay off, but will all the disappointment felt by the unchosen really be worth it?

Have you fired many a condescending moan at the lead characters of most chart-topping blockbusters over the past few years, commenting on how the protagonist of your homebrew first-person shooter, Hellkiller, is so much more original and marketable? Perhaps it's time you put your unsung character design skills to work -- we suggest entering a contest recently posted by LittleBigPlanet creator Media Molecule to create a clever outfit for the game's texturized heroes, Sackboy and Sackgirl.

One winner from America, Japan and Europe will be chosen from the entries, and the winning designs will be posted as free DLC for the title "in the near future". Applicants, who must be 13 years or older to enter, simply need to draw a costume over a Sackboy template on the LittleBigPlanet site, and email it to Media Molecule. They don't mention this in the rules, but we imagine equipping the mascot-worthy protagonist with intricately drawn reproductive organs is grounds for immediate disqualification.

[Via Kotaku]

We know that most of you had some fairly important decisions to make this morning -- for instance, the mind-plaguing decision between coffee or tea, or the equally perplexing choice of cereal or pancakes. Perhaps you spent an hour in front of your dresser, trying to decide between boxers or briefs -- or, for our Alaskan friends, which color long johns best suited your mood. However, a select few of you will be making an even more complex decision today, likely in the next few hours: High Elves or Greenskins?

This race-rolling dilemma will be cordially presented to you by Mythic's Warhammer Online -- the open beta for which launched earlier this morning. Members of the previous stages of the closed beta and those who have pre-ordered the title at "select retail partners" can now download the client and let loose the dogs of WAR (though we've heard a number of complaints from frenzied pre-orderers who have had trouble accessing the beta). Fear not, unwashed masses -- your Age of Reckoning will begin in a little over a week.

It's very rare that we ever write about happenings in the rarely-agreed-upon realm of music -- then again, we suppose it's also pretty rare that two extremely talented musical entities collaborate on a tribute to one of gaming's most underappreciated ancillary characters: Super Mario Bros. mushroom-headed bearer of bad news, Toad. In their upcoming album, Black Pear Tree EP, the folk-rock troubadours of The Mountain Goats teamed up with renowned guitar-tapping madwoman, Kaki King, to record Thank You Mario But Our Princess Is In Another Castle.

The track, which concludes the six-song EP, is available to stream and download for free on Pitchfork. If you're a fan of the artists involved (or a staunch supporter of Mario's polka-dotted companion), it's definitely worth a listen. Even if you aren't, it'd be nice to give your ears a break from the High School Musical soundtrack you've been listening to for the past hour. That's right -- we know.

Okay, we reacted with violent disbelief to the recent news that Multiverse, the company behind the heard-but-not-seen MMO based on Firefly, would produce a second MMO using yet another of Joss Whedon's IPs, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. However, our home row homies at Massively are proving that cooler heads do sometimes prevail, as they recently gleaned a plethora of information about Multiverse's newest project (and their seemingly Ill-fated space cowboy sim) in an interview with the company's co-founder, Corey Bridges.

First and foremost, Bridges promised that some headway had been made on the Firefly title, and regretted putting it on the backburner to focus on their recently acquired vamp-slaying IP -- though he's anxious to resume work on it "as soon as possible." He then goes on to explain one of the more confusing elements of the online Buffy game -- apparently, the title's 2D rendition will launch first, giving players a chance to dip their toes in the waters of the Hellmouth before the more complex 3D version launches. He also hopes to have a public beta for the title into our hands "by the end of the year."

For further details on both titles, check out the entire interview on Massively. We just hope you haven't already burned your brown duster and wooden stake collection in protest.

We imagine that video game developers and publishers aren't pleased when their blockbuster titles receive the banhammer's blow before their release dates -- which is why we're so perplexed by the recent drama surrounding Electronic Arts' upcoming "tactical dismemberment" shooter, Dead Space. Destructoid reported Thursday that the game's community manager, Andrew Green, recently broke the regrettable news that the title had been banned in Germany, Japan and China -- however, GamePolitics has more than a few qualms with this announcement.

Not only is it peculiar that all three bans happen to emerge at the same time, but GP points out that none of the ratings boards of the three nations mentioned have made any announcements on the matter -- even more notably, neither has EA. Also, as one eagle-eyed GP reader pointed out, it's impossible under German law to ban a product before its release. Further negating the German ban, Videogaming247 reports that the title is apparently still going through the ratings gauntlet of Germany's censorship board, the USK.

Regardless of whether this is a misguided publicity stunt, an unfortunate miscommunication, or proof that Andrew Green has mysterious psychic abilities, we certainly hope EA clears up the confusion with a quickness.

Have you been curious about what Sting would look like all wire-framey and covered in ping-pong balls ever since you heard the news that the former Police frontman would make an appearance in Guitar Hero: World Tour? Good news, our little Desert Roses -- you need not look further than a recent promo for the title which we've conveniently posted after the break. We know that you usually rest your clickin' finger during the weekend, but we assure you, making the jump is worth it -- not only do you get to see Mr. Sumner's digital manifestation in action, you also get to hear about his lack of prowess when it comes to jamming on fake plastic instruments (though we hear his tantric usage of Star Power is a breathtaking sight to behold).

Between all the hip nerdrock concerts and multifaceted gaming marathons, it was easy to forget that PAX 2008 was a pretty sweet place for developers to show off their big titles. Not that Epic really needs to spread the word about their sequel to 2006's chainsaw-wielding bestseller, Gears of War 2 -- regardless, our Bleszinski-loving sister site, Xbox 360 Fanboy, recently got a chance to sit down with the lead artist and writer for the Locust massacring simulator to ask about some of the finer points of sequeling. If you find yourself hungry for details about the story and art direction for Gears the Second, we suggest hopping over to X3F and skimming through the twin interviews (or, if we may be so bold, the twinterviews).

It was an easy enough mistake to make, really. After forty-eight hours of driving, the exit to Tacoma, Washington, looks terribly similar to the exit to Seattle. Eyes made weary from two straight days of travel could easily confuse a radio tower for the Space Needle. The absence of a Starbucks on every street corner should have been a dead giveaway, but my typically keen observation skills weren't at their sharpest following my lengthy PAX-bound pilgrimage. Yes, unrelenting fatigue had brought me to Tacoma -- but some other force, be it fate or coincidence, had arranged for the 2008 Packs Convention to kick off in tandem with my accidental arrival.

I would later discover that the Packs Convention (or PacksCon, as their annual attendees have affectionately nicknamed it) was not, in fact, a video game expo hosted by the creators of a certain wildly popular webcomic. It was a celebration of portable textile containers; an unparalleled trade show for backpacks, fanny packs, attache cases, satchels, purses, man purses, handbags, duffel bags, gym bags, totes, luggage, and rucksacks. Booths lined the halls of the Greater Tacoma Convention and Trade Center, representing major players in the industry and their experimental designs. Though not my intended destination, I was fortunate enough to witness the future during the past 72 hours -- and the future involves edible briefcases.

It wasn't until I was halfway through yesterday's Jansport panel that I had realized the mix-up. Cursing my ambitious travel arrangements, the PacksCon administrators, and the concept of homonyms, I began to wonder if there would be a major gaming convention this year that I wouldn't miss out on. However, I found some small amount of solace in my newfound knowledge of the textile container industry -- and, following a number of grief purchases, how incredibly easy it was to store my belongings for the long trip home.

- DS Lite: 55,995 22,671 (28.82%)
- PSP: 47,604 16,809 (26.10%)
- Wii: 35,173 17,863 (33.68%)
- PS3: 9,020 2,373 (20.83%)
- PS2: 8,420 1,748 (17.19%)
- Xbox 360: 3,551 3,807 (51.74%)

[Source: Media Create]

See: The travel-weary archives

Good news for us East Coast Joystiqers, the rapidly expanding Penny-Arcade Expo will be making its way to our humble Atlantic shores sometime in 2010. Sadly, for now, it's exclusively held in Seattle, a city so far away that the webstrip tycoons might as well hold their blossoming event on the moon. Fortunately for us, our WASD lovin' sister site Big Download has a fairly comprehensive gallery that accurately captures the PC gaming elements of PAX. If you love fishtank case mods, Team Fortress 2 cosplayers, and Brawndo (you know, the thirst mutilator) as much as we do, you should give some serious consideration to checking out the gallery below.

(P.S. ... We've got quite a huge gallery, too!)

We know the news of a brief delay for the much-anticipated prequel to GSC Game World's S.T.A.L.K.E.R. must be disheartening for fans of the title -- however, those same fans will probably be pleased to know of the heartbreak that Clear Sky's delay will ultimately prevent. It seems that publisher Deep Purple Silver recalled copies of the title that had been distributed to North American retailers due to a printing error that left the cases sans CD keys. Apparently, those things are kinda important.

Deep Silver explained that the delay would only push the game's North American Sept. 5 release back "a few days" (the European release date is unaffected by the printing snafu), though a few retailers are listing Sept. 15 as the new launch date. We know you're jonesing for some further adventures in Chernobyl, but don't do anything brash. We wouldn't suggest playing laser tag in a poorly maintained nuclear waste repository, for instance.

[Via 1UP]

Were you recently diagnosed with a severe case of sanity? We've got your physician-approved prescription posted after the break -- a triple dose of advertisements for Saints Row 2, with commentary provided by esteemed Shakespearian thespian, Gary Busey. We highly doubt that Busey was provided with a script in these videos -- when the Silver Bullet star asks, "Who hasn't wanted to kill someone with a garden gnome," he's probably not reading from a script. His addled mind ponders that very question two or three times a day.

If you're confident you can look into the heart of lunacy and come out unaffected, check the ads out after the jump. Even if you don't care about the game, we're sure you'll enjoy trying to pinpoint the moment Busey stops promoting the game, and starts having honest-to-god Vietnam flashbacks (video NSFW).

Do you feel confident in saying that you despise the chimera more than anyone else that you know? To be more specific, would you say you hate them twenty dollars more? You can prove your disdain for those yellow-eyed jerks by picking up the collector's edition for Resistance 2, recently unveiled by Amazon.com, which is quickly becoming one of the most comprehensive (if not somewhat unlikely) sources for video game news. Seriously. We're worried.

Included in the bundle (which, for the mathematically challenged, is currently priced at $79.99) is a behind-the-scenes making-of documentary, video commentary from the game's developers, a "Twisted History" chronology video, an exclusive multiplayer character skin, a double-sided art book, and a preview of the heretofore unannounced Gathering Storm novel, which is based on the game. There's also a five and a half inch tall Chimera Hybrid action figure which, due to your unreasonable chimeric hatred, you'll probably just end up microwaving in effigy.

[Via PS3 Fanboy]

We couldn't help but feel a little guilty as we read about a recent "green gaming summit" held by Wal-Mart's gaming blog, Check Out. Perhaps it was the revelation that our consoles, which we constantly leave running in case of emergencies, waste as much energy in a year as six refrigerators. Perhaps it was the knowledge that our towering stack of plastic game cases released more greenhouse emissions during their creation than the average mid-sized car. Perhaps it was the fact that we read the article by light provided by a stack of burning tires and cans of hairspray that we keep in our foyer.

The meeting of minds, which in addition to the retail behemoth's ludological division had representatives from Nintendo, Sony, Microsoft, Activision and Electronic Arts in attendance, resulted in the discussion of new industry practices that would focus on environmental sustainability, such as cardboard game cases and reduced-power standby modes for consoles. We suggest reading Check Out's write-up of the summit for a highly interesting (if not slightly inconvenient) read.