Before we get to the review in earnest, I'd like to address the die-hard Watchmen fans, the ones who fall asleep with their nose in the book every night and who are positive that the upcoming film will be incapable of capturing the book's dark yet occasionally cheerful nihilism. Watchmen: The End Is Nigh is everything you fear from an adaptation, and anyone who tells you differently is not and has never been your friend. Run far, far away.

... OK, with those nerdlingers gone, let's talk about Watchmen: TEIN's merits as a game, shall we?

Sometimes, I worry about Lara Croft. Sure, the bloody vendetta against endangered animals and that egregious contempt for ancient pots were both neon-lit warning signs, but the writing on the walls has never been so clearly etched as on those found in her latest raid-worthy tomb. It's not the fact that she's willing to clamber, crawl and cartwheel through the decrepit crypt, her collapsed mansion as its gravestone, that makes me fret about her mental health. It's that she's willing to do it all in a camo bikini.

Unsurprisingly, the gaudy garment, no doubt picked up at a tacky souvenir shop on Normandy Beach, represents the more adolescent additions offered by Tomb Raider Underworld's first DLC episode, Beneath the Ashes. The rest of it -- a large, unexplored environment, a new enemy and some fresh puzzles -- should appeal to those who see beyond Lara's figure and appreciate a game of clockwork exploration and platforming.

The very best games, the pinnacle of any media, really, are those with an ability to teach us something, however slight, about ourselves. This highest of compliments can be paid to 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand. For Fiddy has taught me exactly how much I'm willing to forgive if a game has solid controls, great structure and a few really good ideas.

Halo Wars is a loaded game. For one, it's the first Halo title developed outside of Bungie, and you can bet Microsoft doesn't want anyone killing its golden goose. Furthermore, the developers have touted the control scheme since the game was first announced, allowing myself and others to hope that it might, just might, do for console RTS games what Halo did for console FPS games. And then, of course, it's the last game from Ensemble Studios ... ever. That's a lot to live up to.

Nearly two decades have passed since Street Fighter II flooded arcades. Having grown up with the franchise, like other children of the '90s, my heart holds a special place for Capcom's premier fighting franchise.

When Street Fighter IV was first announced, an immediate excitement washed over me, which then quickly turned into panic. Melding the perfected 2D gameplay with ... 3D!? Blasphemy! I've never been the petitioning sort, but the laundry list of changes coming to the franchise nearly had me storming the Capcom (and co-developer DIMPS) offices.

Fortunately, my laziness -- and inability to secure fake passports -- paid off and an invasion was not required. After sinking time into both console versions of Street Fighter IV, it is clear and easy to admit: Capcom has delivered.

Rockstar's ambitious Grand Theft Auto IV downloadable expansion, The Lost and Damned, tells a new tale in Liberty City, focusing on the vice president of The Lost Motorcycle Club, John Klebitz. Fans of the GTA series need no introduction to the content within this episode and will likely relish the opportunity to fulfill more of the series' staple quests. For those of you who couldn't care less about the franchise, however, know that Rockstar has set a wonderful precedent for the quality and size of a DLC offering with The Lost and Damned. It's practically a game within a game.

Now, here's the part where you make your choice: "Continue" on to read our full review or jump to our video review below and give your reading eyes a rest. [And don't forget to enter for your chance to win The Lost and Damned right here!]

Adult gamers, I think, often get a bum rap as modern-day Peter Pans, using their hobby to try to cling to their youth. We all know better, of course. We know that interactive entertainment has gone far beyond its heritage as a toy to become its very own, often very mature type of media. But know this: When you pick up a copy of Retro Game Challenge on the DS, vicarious childhood is exactly what you're signing up for.

Hey, welcome to our brand new iPhone feature, "iPhone It In." We're going to start off with a discussion of a new iPhone game, but stick around afterward to see how you can win a super-sexy, Joystiq-branded iPhone case from our friends at Element! [Update: Congrats to Baby Sea Tuna, a winner is you!]

Let's give credit where it's due: As a proof of concept, Silent Hill: The Escape works. If someone at Konami wanted to prove that they could create a creepy atmosphere that boasted the series' trademark look and sound on a phone, they should consider this a success.

Loco Roco 2 has a lot to live up to. Announced last June, we didn't see anything from the game until Tokyo Game Show in October. As a result, there's been no slow drip-feeding of information, which means the only expectations we had were based on the original. Thankfully, this sequel makes its predecessor look like a prototype.

If you're expecting gameplay that differs dramatically from the original you're probably in for a shock. Instead, Loco Roco 2 expands on the gameplay of the first in almost every direction, with a large variety of minigames and new gameplay features. The graphics have largely remained unchanged, but the world is now much larger, with plenty more stuff to do, see and collect in each level.

Environments are now more varied with many more types of enemies and friends to interact with. Controls haven't changed either -- the L and R shoulder buttons still tilt the world, while pressing them simultaneously will make your Loco Roco jump. Simplicity at its best.

Killzone 2 doesn't come with a gimmick. It couldn't be easier on the eyes, but if you're looking for something outside of aesthetics that quickly sets it apart from the bevy of other first-person shooters on the market, you're not going to find it.

In its first few hours, in terms of weapons, enemies and narrative, Killzone 2 designer Guerilla Games seems as if it's constantly making the most generic choice possible, and honestly, it was enough to put me off at first. Nearly every Helghast is the same perambulating black blob with red eyes and every weapon feels like something you've played with before.

But, as I would discover in the following hours, what it lacks in bionic arms and guns that shoot portals, Killzone 2 makes up for with expertly refined shooting action that's likely to shame most of the genre's titles you'll put in your console this year.

There's a man waiting for you at the Bowerstone docks. He's eager to stick you into his aquatic taxi and drop you off on the shores of Knothole Island. Like most helpful RPG citizens, he's been roped into a fetch quest: Find a hero and bring him or her back to the island community, which currently finds itself immobilized by frigid weather. At least, that's what you gather from the chief's note, gracelessly read to you word for word. Whether intentional or not, the sequence works as a cheeky parody of the add-on's Xbox Live Marketplace description.

Is it worth the $10 asking price? Well, the truth is that your feelings on the main game will have already pushed you to the brink of a decision, and you just want us to push you that little bit further. We can tell you that everything you love (or loathe) about Fable 2 is on Knothole Island: the unwaveringly witty writing; the real estate opportunities; the charming townsfolk; and treasure. Oh, the treasure.

We were going to pound out a review for Left 4 Dead to coincide with its release, but it seemed wrong somehow. It seemed that to really "get" L4D, you'd want it in optimal conditions: A group of friends, an hour to kill, and a serious vendetta against the undead. While we're still trying to work up that last one (they're victims too!) we can confirm that if you've got the friends and time you absolutely shouldn't miss this.

You know the basic premise, right? You and three other survivors are the last vestiges of humanity in the zombie apocalypse. You must battle the undead, escape to safety and try to figure out how repopulating Earth with three dudes and one lady won't be awkward.

Reps from the UK PR firm for Eidos have confirmed that they're asking publications not to release any reviews for Tomb Raider: Underworld below an 8/10 until Monday. The firm says they're doing so at the request of Eidos, which is trying to manage the scores for as long as it can. The game is currently sporting a 78 on Metacritic.

Really Eidos? Really? You didn't lose enough goodwill being blamed for getting the world's most popular video games journalist fired and bringing a respected games portal to its knees? (Yes, we know you denied any involvement. This sort of thing certainly makes that seem credible.) You thought maybe journalists would keep this quiet because you were buds? Because they were worried about not getting advance copies of Just Cause 2?

Note to Eidos: Stop being evil. That is all.

[Update: The head of Barrington Harvey, the UK PR firm, is playing defense, with director Simon Byron saying, "Any site, be it Gamespot or whoever, is entirely within their rights to post whatever score they want and no-one is under any sort of obligation to delay any review." It should be noted that "being obligated to" and "being asked to under penalty of being blacklisted" are two very different things. Not that we think that happened, of course.]

Before they had even laid hands on Mirror's Edge, a lot of journalists were ready to give EA and DICE the 2008 Brave Choice Award™ for taking the risk of crafting a AAA title in a completely new genre. And let's make no mistake, that's exactly what this is: Bold, fresh game design that feels like nothing you've touched before.

But we'd be remiss to forget there's also an act of faith required on the part of you, the player. You have to open yourself up to Mirror's Edge, to avoid playing it like a first-person shooter. You have to trust that if you take the time and the effort to learn this new genre, you'll receive something out of it that you couldn't have found anywhere else.

After finishing the 360 version of Mirror's Edge, I'm happy to report that those who can take that leap will find their trust rewarded.